Solitude [Chapter 3 of "Search"]

“Waking with a dream is much easier than waking up after having a dream.” She thought

“There is always a doubt over carrying the imagery of it and what, if it shows us some of the skeletons.”

Such doubts are always culminated with pain but this time she only decided to gravitate away from pains, it will be more like releasing those big fears to find the real place of self. She is feeling it strongly with her intuitions at right place.

Usually her solitude defines those moments where she confronts her thoughts to make a vent for them to release somewhere. But this time, just after she closed her eyes some faces started making a queue, she felt as if she is sitting with a puzzle of incomplete faces to make one complete figure out of them but somewhere it is leading to fail.

                  

There were hordes of indifferences among each one of those faces and they all are with no color. All were colorless with their ideas like a borrowed gift of others' pleasure. Their happiness is a burden of losing self which she so want to find out. Her mind just could not resist this puzzle of faces. She just could not solve it and it has become bigger than her thoughts.

After collecting her thoughts a little later made her more focused, and words become the sound of that lifeless dream of that night. She cried, “Why this hollowness? Why journey is getting encircled with dreams only, where the reality has gone? Why my dream pointed towards that incomplete behavior although I believed that I always worked with self."

She has to find the answer in those faces again to find that face of seer which can provide her with real answers. The determination to solve this puzzle for the search of self is necessary.

She is going to confront these faces, she decided. "My past is haunting me and the key of success is unfolding its mystery."

"Let me talk to all those faces either in dream or in reality." The determination of  a strong mind is something to watch upon, it changes life's experience. She is on that path.. At least her solitude says so.

[Breaking the solitude]

Next in line: "The Faces" 

Ram tum manav nahi ishwar ho kya

vishwa mein rame hue sabhi kahin ho kya,
tab mein nirishwar hun ishwar kshama kare
tum na ramo to man tumme rama kare.
                                           -Maithili sharan Gupta
                                              [Saket]